Posts tagged sucks

Dear Boss Person I Work With:

I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you and your daily reminders of your superiority. I feel most accomplished when you keep my inbox full with your work and come in to my office when the door is shut without knocking. (And then stand there while I talk on the phone to a client.)

I just have one question I would like to discuss before I get started on my to-do list for the rest of the week while simultaneously prepping for my upcoming entrance exam. As I’m sure you can imagine, I will be terribly busy and I will not have time to respond to your e-mails about the happenings on the Facebook.

What exactly are you doing at work? Texting, check. Taking phone calls, check. Facebook, check. GChat, check. Online shopping, check. 2 hour lunch? Check! I understand how these activities could consume the majority of your day, but when you relay to others in the office that (and i quote), “That is not my job!,” then I can’t help but wonder what your job really is, and what distinguishes you from me. I helped get that place up and running like a proper firm. I agreed to new job titles without requesting a pay raise or complaining about my increased work load. But I’m supposed to answer to you? I do what is expected of me, and I also do what is expected of you. Not all of it of course, there are others you reign over and get to do your more menial work. Most days I feel like screaming at you and then beating you down in the hallway. The fact is, I care too much about what my real superiors think of me, so I do what you command ask, solely on the fear it will not get done. 

Most importantly, you are in need of a serious attitude check. I don’t end up doing your work because you berate me into it. Like I said before, I do it for them, so they don’t look sloppy and unprepared. What really pisses me off is when you say, “that’s not my job,” on the rare occasions I have requested your help. Then you turn around and beg me for your help. Worse, you expect me to have it completed for you and act put out if it’s not. Then you peer over my shoulder all day long to tell me to stop what I am doing and do what you want me to do. NOW! Excuse me, is that your signature on my check? Also, I would appreciate it if you could please refrain from talking about how stupid our colleagues are or how much they bother you, or their pants bother you, or whatever you’ve decided to harp on that day. Criticizing people and making them feel insignificant is a quality possessed only by BULLIES. And bullies exist because of their own insecurities. You like to tell new employees that I’m the bitch and you are the sweet one, and that is just so fucking funny!

Lucky for you, I’m no snitch.

Alas, there is a silver lining that lies beyond. When I start school (for my second degree, as opposed to your…oh wait, nevermind), shit is going to hit the fan. I won’t be there to cover my own ground, let alone cover yours. They are going to find out real quick who was pulling all the weight around there. Of course, I will be in sporadically to maintain my relationship with my employers (that does not include you) that I respect, and to cater to them (not you). No more, “I am just completely overwhelmed, can you please help me with this? I’m freaking out!” Sorry. It’s not my day to watch you.

I joined Facebook in 2005, when it first began. I don’t even recognize
it now. Why the need for “applications?” Where are my groups? Why
can’t I just list my interests instead of having to “like” a “page?” I
find it extremely annoying and frankly, stupid. Why did you extend
membership to everyone outside of Universities?  Was it greed? Now I
have to deal with my aunts and uncles and my grandmother checking up
on me every two minutes. And no, I’m not going to set custom privacy
settings for each person. Not only that, you have extended memberships
to criminals, registered sex offenders, and terrorists. You should
have just left it like it was. Good riddance, minions of Satan.