Dear Penn State:

Yeah, I read the Grand Jury report. You all had opportunities to be heroes - yet you chose to be cowards. Excuse me while I throw shade at all involved.

Jim Calhoun: You were the first person ever to actually witness any incident involving Sandusky and young boys. You were so disturbed by what you saw, you were visibly shaken and crying. You said, and I quote, “I fought in the Korean War…seen people with their guts blown out, arms dismembered…I just witnessed something in there that I’ll never forget.” Yet you did NOTHING! You fought in the Korean War and you didn’t manhandle that motherfucker yourself? You didn’t call the cops right then and there to save that child from further abuse? You didn’t run over there and pull him out of the situation? Your superiors even advised you on whom to report the incident to, and you still didn’t! Not like they needed to. You knew. You were a temporary employee anyway, so to hell with your janitorial job - what is your excuse?

Penn State Janitorial Staff: After what Jim Calhoun told you, all you did was tell him who to call about it? Why didn’t you make that call yourself?? You were so worried the guy was going to have a heart attack over it because he was so upset - but maybe you didn’t think he was telling the truth? Or worried about losing your jobs? THERE IS A CHILD BEING SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IN YOUR FACILITIES. I guess in the grand scheme of things, that really is less important than securing your careers as campus maintenance. GROSS!

Clinton County high school administration and staff: The second you saw Sandusky lying on top of a kid, you should have reported it. Shit, you even called his behavior with children “suspicious.” Not suspicious enough to tell someone about it though, right? Who from Penn State paid you off?

Mike McQueary: To me, you are the worst. It’s your 20s when you start to become aware of the politics associated with the “good ole boys club.” And unestablished 20somethings don’t sucumb to politics - they try to change it. Poor, pitiful, 28-year-old graduate assistant witnessing a horrific act by a man you respected. Were you so blinded by your “respect” for Sandusky that you tried to make excuses for what you were seeing? Obviously not, since you were so repulsed you immediately told your father about it. Why did you need daddy’s approval to expose a criminal? Why didn’t it occur to you to call the cops while you stood there and watched? YOU WERE A WITNESS! Why didn’t you approach Sandusky and ask him what the fuck he was doing? I want to know exactly what you told Paterno, and exactly what you said to Curley and Schultz in your meeting. Did you omit any details to protect PSU? Or protect Sandusky? How in the hell did you go on to have a coaching career at Penn State while standing next to the man you saw sodomizing a child? How were you able to look him in the face? How can you look at yourself?

Graham Spanier: As the university president, you knew all of this shit. Every incident, every report. Yet you gave Sandusky emeritus status, his own office in the Lasch building, a parking spot and access to the facilities. Did you laugh silently at the irony when Sandusky’s autobiography was published? Are you familiar with the term ENABLER?

Tim Curley & Gary Schultz: Uhh…a report of inappropriate sexual conduct by an old man with a 10-year-old boy is “not that serious?” You had “no indication that any crime had occurred?” Yeah, pedophilia is totally not that serious and I could see how you could come to that conclusion. You waited a week before interviewing McQueary - did you need that week to compile a scheme? What did you tell Paterno when he first reported the incident to you? Were you lying to the grand jury to preserve the reputation of your school? Did you not think that the worst thing for your reputation is having a kiddie diddler on staff? Also would like to point out that Tim, your mugshot is beyond creepy. Fuck y’all.

Mother of Victim No. 6: You finally come forward (probably in an effort to capitalize on the media coverage), calling out McQueary for running to his daddy instead of calling the police. In 1998, you contacted the UNIVERSITY POLICE instead of the state police! You are in no position to point fingers when you are just as culpable. When the case was closed, where were you? Any other parent would have been hounding Penn State, the media, the police, the DA’s office, Sandusky and his family…and you just let it go. Shut your mouth. There is a reason your son was involved in the Second Mile anyway - a home for boys with absent or dysfunctional families.  

Joe Paterno: Your involvement (or lack thereof) pains me the most. Maybe you were in denial. Maybe you were covering up for your football program, perhaps at the instruction of the administration. Maybe you were just 70 years old and delirious. No matter the excuses, you knew. Why did you force Sandusky into retirement in 1999? What prompted you to tell him he would not be head coach? If you didn’t contact authorities because you were trying to salvage the Penn State name and keep it from the media, why did you not tell your football players what happened and let them handle it? Why did you not tell that pederass to get the fuck out of your offices? I’ll ask you the same question I ask McQueary - how in the hell did you manage to stand next to this creep knowing what he was capable of? How could you protect him? Don’t you have a son? Of all people involved, you were the one that could have come out of this looking like a hero. Rather than bringing down the entire school with this scandal, you could have alerted authorities to the incident immediately, and it would have been ONE MAN as opposed to a whole institution. You’ve always been an icon at Penn State, and a living legend among many other football fans. You coming forward would have simply earned you greater respect. You blew it.

And last, but CERTAINLY not least, Jerry Sandusky: You are a vile, waste of space and a terrifying predator. Fuck your charity, fuck your legend, fuck your smugness, fuck your DISGUSTING autobiography. FUCK YOU. Penn State’s code of morals and ethics may have been wasted on you. But prison’s won’t be.

dear Casey Anthony,

you have been such a big part of my life for the past 31 days. that is such a long time…you know, in the past 31 days, i got the results back on a much anticipated exam, attended two weddings, celebrated two holidays, survived pneumonia, made a new friend and started a workout class. amazing how much can be accomplished in just 31 days right?! I mean so many things to do…there just wouldn’t be enough time to report a child missing!

the truth is, you and you alone know what happened to Caylee. You’re not smart, so either you are a lucky bitch or one hell of a mastermind.

this is my theory:

Casey would drug Caylee to sleep so she could party on. First cough syrup, then Xanax (how Zanny the nanny got her name), then the chloroform. Chloroform intensifies with age, and Casey kept using the same batch to knock her out. On June 16, 2008, Caylee overdosed.

Panic ensues. Casey makes frantic phone calls to family and friends. At some point, she decides she’ll just handle it. Bitch has 1 month without being questioned to create a new web of lies connected to Caylee’s disappearance. She has 31 loooong days to devise a plan to cover her ass. She keeps Caylee in the trunk of her car until she decides what to do. She abandons the car because she too can smell the decomposition. Places the trash there as another excuse she can make. Covering her tracks here…

Duct tape? placed over the child’s face to hopefully feign kidnapping. Lack of physical evidence in the pontiac sunfire? you can thank George and Cindy for that one. Borrowing the shovel? used to either bury or unearth Caylee in the Anthony’s backyard. gas cans? an alternative plan that never came to fruition. Zanny the Nanny? Pseudonym.

SOMEONE moved the body.The way it was discarded and the cadaver dogs going apeshit over the sandbox….Casey was in jail. She had help, whether it was her parents, Jose Baez or her brother. Unfortunately we must accept that in this case, like many, we will never know the truth. Ever.

However, as unfortunate as the outcome was, in a court of law it makes perfect sense. You must prove 3 things BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT:

-Crime was committed

-Crime was intentional

-Crime was premeditated

It’s not the states fault that none of the above, albeit debatable, can be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. The evidence had deteriorated beyond recognition and nothing could be determined from the remains. The body, weapon, or the “smoking gun” was nowhere to be found. The evidence in the pontiac sunfire was wiped clean before Caylee was ever reported missing. All that was left was the smell. Some manipulative liar was very successful in putting this off until the last minute and eliminating all evidence, awarding her a not guilty verdict.

Yeah Casey I know you think you are SUCH a good liar. You even beat the system! Wrong…you just had lots of people around you who loved you, or were manipulated to love you. They supported you and assisted in your defense. A lesson learned much too late. You may have evaded jail, but you will never take another step on this earth without being recognized and harassed. Change your hair, change your name; the American public will recognize that horse face anywhere.

I’d wear a bulletproof vest as you walk out the doors to freedom tomorrow.

Dear Boss Person I Work With:

I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you and your daily reminders of your superiority. I feel most accomplished when you keep my inbox full with your work and come in to my office when the door is shut without knocking. (And then stand there while I talk on the phone to a client.)

I just have one question I would like to discuss before I get started on my to-do list for the rest of the week while simultaneously prepping for my upcoming entrance exam. As I’m sure you can imagine, I will be terribly busy and I will not have time to respond to your e-mails about the happenings on the Facebook.

What exactly are you doing at work? Texting, check. Taking phone calls, check. Facebook, check. GChat, check. Online shopping, check. 2 hour lunch? Check! I understand how these activities could consume the majority of your day, but when you relay to others in the office that (and i quote), “That is not my job!,” then I can’t help but wonder what your job really is, and what distinguishes you from me. I helped get that place up and running like a proper firm. I agreed to new job titles without requesting a pay raise or complaining about my increased work load. But I’m supposed to answer to you? I do what is expected of me, and I also do what is expected of you. Not all of it of course, there are others you reign over and get to do your more menial work. Most days I feel like screaming at you and then beating you down in the hallway. The fact is, I care too much about what my real superiors think of me, so I do what you command ask, solely on the fear it will not get done. 

Most importantly, you are in need of a serious attitude check. I don’t end up doing your work because you berate me into it. Like I said before, I do it for them, so they don’t look sloppy and unprepared. What really pisses me off is when you say, “that’s not my job,” on the rare occasions I have requested your help. Then you turn around and beg me for your help. Worse, you expect me to have it completed for you and act put out if it’s not. Then you peer over my shoulder all day long to tell me to stop what I am doing and do what you want me to do. NOW! Excuse me, is that your signature on my check? Also, I would appreciate it if you could please refrain from talking about how stupid our colleagues are or how much they bother you, or their pants bother you, or whatever you’ve decided to harp on that day. Criticizing people and making them feel insignificant is a quality possessed only by BULLIES. And bullies exist because of their own insecurities. You like to tell new employees that I’m the bitch and you are the sweet one, and that is just so fucking funny!

Lucky for you, I’m no snitch.

Alas, there is a silver lining that lies beyond. When I start school (for my second degree, as opposed to your…oh wait, nevermind), shit is going to hit the fan. I won’t be there to cover my own ground, let alone cover yours. They are going to find out real quick who was pulling all the weight around there. Of course, I will be in sporadically to maintain my relationship with my employers (that does not include you) that I respect, and to cater to them (not you). No more, “I am just completely overwhelmed, can you please help me with this? I’m freaking out!” Sorry. It’s not my day to watch you.

I joined Facebook in 2005, when it first began. I don’t even recognize
it now. Why the need for “applications?” Where are my groups? Why
can’t I just list my interests instead of having to “like” a “page?” I
find it extremely annoying and frankly, stupid. Why did you extend
membership to everyone outside of Universities?  Was it greed? Now I
have to deal with my aunts and uncles and my grandmother checking up
on me every two minutes. And no, I’m not going to set custom privacy
settings for each person. Not only that, you have extended memberships
to criminals, registered sex offenders, and terrorists. You should
have just left it like it was. Good riddance, minions of Satan.

******,

Since my father will not allow me to confront you about your shady behavior for fear of creating turmoil within his family, I’ll just write you a letter and hope that one day you’ll see it.

For my college graduation, Grandma gave me her Mikimoto pearl earrings and bracelet. She told me she didn’t give me the whole set because she wanted to wear the necklace until she died. It was the only thing she willed to me. Not only did she specifically state in her will and testament that the pearls went to me, she HID them in her sock drawer to avoid situations just like the one you’ve created. She knew you were a stingy, thieving, white trash mess.

Yeah I know you deny stealing them. You even put on a good show claiming your innocence, tears and all. But here’s the deal. ***** came home and FOUND YOU rummaging around through my parents things they had left on the bed in Grandma’s room. He said you jumped when he walked in on you and that you seemed agitated. That was not your family’s designated room and he knew it. How choice that you would go through her belongings while he was not at home. Not only that, you took her jewelry chest (which was also claimed by my parents) and every single piece of jewelry she owned. My mother had put the pearls in that chest.

When we called you out on it, *****, not you, brought the chest over to Grandma’s house. Odd, the only thing missing was the pearls. Oh you think they must have just fallen off the bed somewhere? You think they are still in the house? You say they will turn up? Well guess what, we cleaned that place top to bottom and sold it and still no pearls.

Grandma always hated you and your pill-popping daughter. She PURPOSELY left **** out of her will because she never considered her to be family. And technically, she’s not. The only reason you were included is because ***** made the mistake of marrying you. I don’t know if you took them for yourself or for her, either way it was a chicken shit move. I hope your conscience eats at you forever.

And how dare you try to place the blame on *****, no one loved Grandma more than him. Funny how the issue of the Japanese vases dropped when he told you that you could have them when I got my pearls.

Don’t be mistaken, I’m not attacking you because I’m a spoiled brat who wants some nice pearls. I have a beautiful diamond of significant, emotional value that I will never take off. It’s not the material object, it’s the principle. I just hope to God my uncle wasn’t in on it.

In case you were wondering, this is why I no longer acknowledge you.

“To The Board and ***** Management:

I am bringing to your attention yet another Kat Spears* incident.

I went out during the snow storm to cover the faucet outside of Kat Spears’s gate area. I wrapped it in towels and duct tape and posted “Do Not Remove, ROS”.  She removed it and replaced it with a rug hanging over the fence and covering the faucet.

The Board has, once again, sent a letter informing her son, the owner of the property, of her recent, erratic behavior. As stated in previous letters, if the situation is not corrected within 10 days a fine will be incurred for $100.00.

Today I received a call about the faucet at the west end of the parking lot.  The cover was taken off and the Wilson’s parking spot was flooded. Kat Spears was convicted of assaulting Mrs. Wilson earlier this year after she smacked her across the face with a garden hose. It is my understanding she received one year probation, 80 hours of community service and mandatory anger management classes.  A civil trial has been set for April.

Today I re-wrapped the faucet outside Kat Spears’s gate and the one at the west end parking lot.  I wrote, “Do Not Remove without written permission, ROS”.  When Kat came back this afternoon, she ripped off the wrapping on the faucet outside her gate while Mr. Winslow, who happened to be outside, took pictures. She claims the faucet belongs to her.

Remember, five faucets have burst in the last 2 months. The mistreatment of these items cost the Association in the long run. We are looking into ways to restrict the use of water from the public faucets. Kat Spears has a love for flooding areas, including concrete. She stands out on ******* Drive with a garden hose, watering the front lawn for hours. She has also been known to water the entrance and exit driveways.

Although my first priority is to prevent any unnecessary expenses for the Association, there are many of us at this end of the complex that are terrorized by her presence.  We feel very unsafe on our on property. I do not think this should all rest on the Wilson’s shoulder, as she has proven to be volatile.

Remember she is not a homeowner.

Thank you,”

man i love my neighbors! :D

*names have been changed to protect the innocent.

ok some not so innocent but i’m not getting sued

Dear ****,

I hope you realize the severe damage you have just done to your reputation here at the Royal Orleans. Your immense hatred for our beloved stray cat Oliver (yes he had a NAME), your desire to rid our community of what you deem to be an “unworthy being” and lack of a soul can only be compared to that of a modern-day Nazi, and for this you are hereby shunned.

Oliver joined us “pool-dwellers” at the end of the summer. (Oh wait, you didn’t move in until December right?) All of your surrounding neighbors had a relationship with that cat. One neighbor took him to the vet regularly and bought him a collar. Oliver would run to him, jump in his arms, put his paws on his chest and gaze into his eyes. Then he would crawl around onto his shoulders and rest there like a fur stoal (i’m sure you own one) on a stuffy woman’s neck. One went to Pets Mart LAST WEEK and bought him a little hut and toys to enjoy on her back porch. One has a cat who enjoyed frolicking outside on beautiful days with Oliver. We all got a laugh when he would jump in our cars trying to hitch a ride. Sometimes it was just nice to see him laying on the asphalt getting some sun. Come to think of it, he probably was killing rats I’ve seen around here. I saw one crawl across your porch once before you moved in. ALL of us fed him. SIX of us have cats of our own. FOUR of us loved that cat so much we cried when he left, including an 86-year-old woman. If you see my Geoffrey taking a walk outside, are you going to kick him and threaten to euthanize him too? Because I’ll slap you with a animal cruelty lawsuit.

So you have some paw prints on your car that you don’t like? You also have a month’s worth of snow and rain and dirt. And you drive a Honda? Based on your reaction to a few little kitty paws, I assumed you drove an Aston Martin.

Because your violent actions toward an innocent animal were eyewitnessed, Oliver was taken to a foster home this morning. When ***** drove away with Oliver in the car, he ran to the window and put his paws on the glass, begging to not be taken away. You must feel like you have won this war - but the joke’s on you. Not long after he was taken into care, Oliver was adopted by a relative of one of your neighbors. That relative was once a resident, and one day could be again.

I wanted to let you know that I will be watching you like a hawk when I see you outside. If I see you or feel you are taking out unnecessary aggresion on any more of our resident animals, I’ll reel in the sharks.

Welcome to the Neighborhood!

PS - i hate your snorting, farting dog.

WWR: hey, I don’t want to cause drama but I just found out that ****’s talking to your friend? I just wanted you to know that he and I have still been sleeping together and even tonight we were talking. I’m not angry at anyone but him bc I didn’t know he was doing this but I think your friend should know hes still been trying to see me even a couple days ago. I’m heart broken that he hurt me again, I know you understand bc you know how he and I were.

ME: dude its cool. they are not talking, they are friends. i know youve been sleeping with ****, she knows youve been sleeping with ****, and **** knows youve been sleeping with ****. you have nothing to worry about! its all good. trust.

Hi! Do you remember me? I live next door to your ex? I’m the girl with the boyfriend all the neighbors hate? Well anyway, I just wanted to thank you for taking over my title as worst boyfriend on the block. It was really driving me crazy; all the looks and whispers I was getting…but thanks to you I’m free again! I mean nobody is going to think my boyfriend is worse than a guy that starts fucking another girl before he breaks up with the first one.
I’ll lay out a “hypothetical” scenario for you. Girl meets boy. Girl loves boy. Boy pretends to love girl. Girl buys it. Girl and boy have happy yearlong relationship. Boy moves away for job and tells girl he wants to make it work. Girl gets excited for boy and helps him move and buys plane tickets to be with him. Boy and girl talk about future. Girl and boy are happy. Girl goes to visit boy in new home for 2 weeks. Girl goes home. All of a sudden, boy starts ignoring girl. Girl starts to worry. Boy says he is confused. Girl is more confused. Boy makes up some shit about things and people from home being too sensitive. Again, girl buys it. Girl gets pneumonia and no call from boy. Boy tells girl to cancel plane ticket and not visit him. Girl is rightfully confused and upset, asks boy if he’s found new girl and boy lies. Girl loves boy, writes him and calls him and tries to make relationship work. Boy continues to ignore girl. Girl checks facebook to find boy is in relationship with new desperate girl. Girl is pissed. Girls friends and family are pissed. If it was legal to kill, boy and desperate girl would be dead. Boy AGAIN makes up lie to cover his ass, saying relationship on facebook was not as it appears. But if boy knew he had girl that he was dicking around back home, why would boy make joke about new relationship with desperate girl? Unless boy just really enjoys making girl hurt.
Now I asks you. Which is worse; a man with issues who is at least loyal, loving and honest? Or this guy?
I know what the answer is, so thanks to you, boy, for taking the heat off me!

Love,

hey there…i heard about your new boo. congrats! you should have just spared me the bullshit about not wanting a relationship, and the bullshit about how you weren’t into *******. thanks for using me for months to make her jealous. so glad you decided you want to be with someone who previously left you for your shady friend. i thought you respected me enough to at least be truthful, especially after i had asked you about your feelings for her before. thanks for saying things like “i want to be with you just as much as you want to be with me” and letting me believe that you were into me. thanks for making me look like an idiot at my job for helping you with your ticket. thanks for making me feel like shit all over again - i gave you numerous opportunities to come out with it. funny how you said you are better than all your friends yet you opt for the lesser woman. you’re a dick.